Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

Well one big decision to make is whether to update our home study in January or not. I emailed Cathy about that this week and she said she recommends that we always have a valid one in case there is a last minute situation available, but she doesn't require it. Part of me doesn't want to do another home study unless we have been matched. We have spent $2,600 on home studies (well more than that when you factor in the physicals, clearances, etc. which we pay for in order to accomplish a home study but I mean JUST what we've paid the social workers amounts to $2,600 over the past 3 years). If we update in January (so we'll have a new one in place by Feb 6) we'll owe the s/w another $500. Money well spent if we get matched in 2008 with Mark Miller (lawyer in FL) or Cathy of Adoption Consultants. But I really, really don't want to spend another dime that has nothing to show for it like the last $2,600 spent on the last 2 home studies and 1 home study update. So part of me would rather wait for a match. One idea I had this week is to schedule our physicals for January and do the criminal background and child abuse clearances so that we could do a homestudy really quickly if needed. I'd need to talk to Jess to see if we had all that if she could complete a home study in a matter of a few days if we had a last minute match. Well one thing I know for sure, we won't make this decision until after we find out if I am pg or not next month. If I am pg I am thinking we won't spend the $500 to update. So the harder decision will be if I am not pg what to do.

The other big decision is whether to do another fresh IVF cycle. I am really torn. Of course I want to be pg, and Paul had asked me in June to be willing to do 2 fresh IVF cycles if the first one didn't work. But 130 shots later (after IVF + FET) and about $9K later, I am really not sure about doing another fresh cycle. What really scares me is another egg retrieval. Plus I realize that likely there will be at least two more transfers as likely I'll have at least one frozen embryo again (and probably more). So it's not a question of being willing to do this ONE more time but really two more = probably at least 4 total transfers including the ones done here in PA. Whether the local clinic will let me do the stimming here is a big factor in my decision as if they say "no" then the cost of the fresh cycle just went up $1,400 and the cost of the FET would also rise as well. And I'd have to be out in IL for a longer period of time - at a time when my sister and her family won't be there. I really don't want to spend the holidays alone in IL. Paul doesn't want to make a decision until after we find out about this FET. Of course if I am pg we don't even have to make a decision. But the reason why I am thinking about it now is that if we are going to do a fresh IVF with an early January retrieval, we would have to decide ASAP right after we find out if the FET works as I'd have to start the bcp immediately and the Lupron a couple of weeks later. So I'm going to post a poll to get input from you all on this matter.