Hurts to sit

I am still overwhelmed with how many are praying on behalf of our little frozen embryo. The pastor's wife's mother passed away last night so the funeral will be Thursday at 11:00 which was when the ladies planned to gather to pray. Some (who didn't know her) are still going to gather then, but others are gathering tomorrow night at 8pm. Various ones in the handbell choir and also the senior choir have said they will be praying (wherever they are) on Thursday at that time. It's very touching and so very much appreciated. I have to admit I am a little scared at how many people know about this FET (more than new about the IVF this summer) as I am fearful of what they might say afterward if it doesn't work or being asked more times if it worked or not, etc. But I was worried about this summer and actually had very few "annoying" comments so hopefully my fears are unwarranted. I've told only a very few at work. One colleague who does know asked if I had told my students - definitely not! I just told them I was having a small surgery on Thursday (telling them why I wouldn't be in class on Friday). I guess surgery probably isn't the right word to use but I wasn't sure how to describe it without actually saying what it was and no one asked any questions.

My hips hurt so very much. I am really struggling with the notion of doing all this again if this FET doesn't work, but I just need to live in today. God hasn't given me the grace I need for that (yet). I know I shouldn't worry about tomorrow... I stood during Bible study this morning. It's too painful to sit on a metal folding chair. I am in pain pretty much all day. Thankfully it hasn't interrupted my sleep yet although when I first laid down last night it was hard to find a position that wasn't painful. Today will be my first day of having 3 intramuscular injections. I had 2 this morning and will have another this evening. Even with the fresh ivf this summer I never had more than one IM injection on any given day and I was in a lot of pain after several days of those and the pain level increased over time so I am struggling not to be fearful of how much the pain is going to increase when I have 16 a week knowing how much discomfort I was in having 7 a week in August. But I try to focus on the little baby that's at the hospital now and think okay I can do this for my little one.

A friend offered to pay for me to have a massage before the transfer which was SO generous, but her massage therapist only had an opening at 8:45am and then we'd have almost 2 hours of time to kill. Plus this therapist is over 45 minutes from our house and we didn't think rushing out the door prior to 8am when we don't need to be at the hospital til noon would make for a relaxing morning. I tried a few other massage therapists today but no one had an opening around the time I was looking for (either say 8:30am or noon or 3:30 pm or something like that). Well we are saving $50 by me not having a massage. I'll just try to be as relaxed as possible (although I definitely was far more physically relaxed than normal after the massage on August 4 before the 3dt). 47 hours from now hopefully our little one will be nestled inside of me. One of my friends who is going to do IVF for the first time in January (she's also been with Lifetime for almost 3 years without any possible matches) said her RE says to do 3 days of bedrest and to not get up for food or shower or anything - only to go to the bathroom. So that's what I'm going to do this time. I plan to stay on the couch from Thursday afternoon til Monday at 6am! If being inactive will help, I will definitely give that a whirl!