Tears of Joy

Well it's funny as I expected to have tears of joy if I ever was pg, but in actuality it wasn't until 10 weeks along that it happened! I thought *maybe* I'd cry tears of joy if I saw 2 lines on the hpt. I didn't. I think maybe it was in part because I had cried the night before the BFP when I found out the woman in FL didn't pick us (again...). So I don't think tears and happiness could be associated together for me at that moment. I was *sure* I would cry at the first ultrasound when we saw that little heartbeat. I didn't! I haven't cried at one yet (watch and today will be the first, lol). I was beaming though. I couldn't have been any happier!!! So I had thought well I guess the first (and only) time I guess I'll cry tears of joy will be when I give birth. Surely then I will cry tears of happiness. And I think that will prove true. I just think that experience will be completely overwhelming emotionally in a very good way of course.

It turns out though I cried tears of joy for the first time during church yesterday morning. About maybe 3-4 times a year our pastor doesn't preach a traditional sermon. Instead he comes out dressed in the costume of a biblical character and does a monologue speaking as if he were Paul or Peter or whomever. One time is always around Christmas, and he picks a different character to portray. Sometimes there are other actors involved so it's not a monologue. Yesterday he played the part of Joseph, and although he was the main character, Mary, Gabriel, and baby Jesus also were involved. Well it was "baby Jesus" that brought on the tears. They used a very young baby for the part; I would guess by the baby's jerky arm motions that the infant was 1 month old or younger. My pastor also has a gorgeous singing voice, and it's during these types of services that is usually the only time in the year that he sings a solo. Yesterday he sang one solo plus a duet with "Mary." Well while he sang "Joseph's song" (sung first I believe by Michael Card many years ago), tears just ran down my face. I'd like to say it was because I was touched by what Christ did for us - that he was willing to humble Himself and come down and take the flesh of a tiny, helpless babe. That truly is amazing! Such love!!! But that wasn't it yesterday morning. All I kept thinking was - I'm going to have one of those!!! And the tears fell. For some reason that tiny little baby just stirred up so much emotion, and I was overwhelmed at the thought that there's a little one growing right now inside me, and in less than 7 months I should be holding him/her in my arms. That thought just blew me away yesterday morning! I actually had to stop and think about something else or I was going to totally lose it emotionally I was just so overwhelmed with emotion. I kept thanking the Lord for allowing this miracle to occur within me. I am still in shock that I am 10 weeks pregnant! Amazing! This is the best Christmas present possible and in about 90 minutes we get to see our sweet little one again. You can be sure I'll post photos later this morning!

Merry Christmas to you ALL and again from the bottom of my heart let me say how greatly I appreciate your support, encouragement, and prayers. It's so special to have both people I know in real life and also people I only know online sharing in our joy!!!! I feel like shouting it from the rooftop - I am going to have a BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PTL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!