Letting Go...

If you are doing your job as a parent well, you are ever so gradually preparing them to be independent. What a transformation that really is when you consider how they are 100% dependent on you at the very start. Well mine weren't 100% dependent on me since they were in the NICU, but they were definitely 0% independent. The first big act of "letting go" is leaving them with a babysitter. Nadia's first babysitters watched her in my office while I was teaching. It helped knowing she was still in the same building. The next big step for me was putting them in the nursery for Sunday School and church. I delayed that as long as possible. Each mom is very different in this regard. There's a mom whose baby just turned 3 months old, and she's already been dropping her son (firstborn) at the nursery for a few weeks, and there's another mom, whose baby is 7 or maybe 8 months old, and she still keeps her daughter (also firstborn) in the service with her.

The next step for me was Nadia's first VBS. Normally if she's doing something apart from me, I'm still in the same building (ex. at church or at gymnastics class). VBS was different as it was the first time I was dropping her off and picking her up 2.5 hours later 5 nights in a row. It also felt like a bigger deal because it wasn't at our church. I didn't know many people there at all. Dance Camp was a similar situation (3 hours long). This week she's been at her second VBS, and I don't think I know anyone at this church although I did meet the pastor when I went to a Zumba class there once. When I pick her up 2.5 hours later I feel the need to shower her with hugs and kisses. Thankfully she's still at the age where she very willingly accepts all that affection. Part of me wants to scream - "you're growing up too fast for me to be dropping you off and picking you up somehwere!" and another part of me feels really proud of her when I get such good reports from several adults. I get this small sense of the baby bird taking tiny little steps out of the nest and have very mixed emotions. I do think it's helpful that I am not sticking around for VBS because I find my presence can be distracting at swim lessons. She often feels the need to look for me and say something to me when I want her to be 100% focused on what Melissa (the lifeguard who is teaching her class) is saying.

Ian ended up going with us to Nadia's swimming lesson because Karen (OT) called yesterday morning and said that she and Chris (Speech) wanted to have a joint session with Ian to coordinate their services. Since they made the joint appointment for 11:45, it meant I was able to take Ian with me, and the three of us were able to swim a little at our pool before scurrying back for Ian's appointment. I know that speech therapists do deal with feeding issues also (they are often on feeding teams), but to be honest I don't think yesterday's session was very beneficial. Actually I haven't found the speech therapy to really be helpful beyond the tips she shared at the very first session. She hasn't given me any additional suggestions of what to do with Ian since then, and what she does with Ian (plays with him and reads to him) is what I do all the time. She's a really nice person, and it's more complicated as I knew her from the church I used to go to. Hopefully as time goes I'll see this service as beneficial, but right now I can't say that I do. Karen hadn't been to our house in a month, and frankly that hadn't been a problem either. I don't think weekly sessions are actually needed, but she definitely gives me more tips than Chris does.

I did decide to take her advice yesterday to start letting him CIO for his nap. She suggested starting on Friday since we'll be in the car a lot on Thursday due to seeing the allergist. I decided to start today although tomorrow he won't have a nap in his crib. Even if he gets in a good rhythm, there are going to be times when he's not going to be able to sleep in his crib for his nap, such as when we're on the road for many hours for a doctor appointment. The last two days the only place he slept was the car, and since our longest trip was 20 minutes, he didn't take any nice naps the last two days. He hasn't taken a nap in his crib in a few months, but today after screaming for 50 minutes he fell asleep in his crib. I suspect that each time he'll cry a little less until he goes down easily like he already has been doing for quite a while at night. I was nervous that Nadia wouldn't be able to fall asleep with him screaming his head off in the room beside hers, but amazingly she did fall asleep through part of his tantrum. I got a little weeding done that I had been wanting to do for several days. I won't know what to do with myself if this becomes the norm because I have been used to having almost constant contact with Ian for at least 12 hours straight every day (from when he gets up at 6:30am until Paul comes home). I love the guy dearly, but I'll be able to get more housework and schoolwork done if he'll take a nap in his crib. Unfortunately he only slept for about 20 minutes. I let him cry again as Karen had said it is reasonable for him to spend 2 hours in his crib each afternoon, even if he's playing with stuffed animals for part of that time. He cried for another 20 minutes and then fell back asleep. That crying bout woke Nadia up, but she also fell back asleep. He then slept for 55 minutes. Since he had been in bed for 2.5 hours at that point, I got him as soon as he woke up. I fed him, and he fell back asleep in my arms. Well it's progress anyhow. Some day he'll learn to take his whole nap in his crib.

Ian didn't mind the vanilla flavored almond milk this morning. The EleCare arrived at noon. Had the seller shipped it when he/she said, it would have been here on Saturday, as it only took 2 days to arrive. I noticed at this grocery store that they had soy yogurt, which is WAY cheaper than coconut or almond milk yogurt. I'm going to ask the allergist about it tomorrow. He wasn't the one who told us to ban soy. That was the psychologist. I'm also going to ask about the Almond milk because it's only twice as expensive as cow's milk compared to EleCare, which is ten times more expensive than cow's milk (if bought on eBay or 100 times more expensive through Diplomat Pharmacy). I also bought some Veggie Sticks last night. You were right, Wendy, that Nadia liked them - even the spinach ones. Ian was happy to lick them, but they didn't inspire him to chew for the first time in his life like has happened with other children according to Dr. Williams. I wonder when Ian will discover how to chew. I never realized it could be such an ordeal to get a toddler to eat! I know you can relate to this, Regina.