One Month Old

Nadia is one month old today! I am very happy to say that she went to sleep at 10:30pm (after crying for 5 min) and didn't wake up for 4 hrs. Whew... Then she woke up on the hour three times in a row before sleeping another 2 1/2 hrs. The last 2 1/2 hrs she slept with me; the rest of the night she slept in her crib. And once again I managed her on my own so Daddy could keep working on his thesis. Today I helped him with that - did the page numbering, table of contents, table of figures, etc. Hopefully he'll submit it to his committee members this evening. There will be some relief once it's "off" but then he has to work on the PowerPoint for his defense and such so most likely I won't really get my hubby back until after that's over on Tuesday. I hope tonight he at least sleeps in our bedroom rather than the family room couch as I've now slept alone for a month (well I did share a bed with my mom for two nights in the NICU demo room but of course that's different).

Sleeping has not gone well for Nadia today. She wanted to take her morning nap on me and since I was wanting a nap myself I let her. However when she woke up at 10:45 I decided her next nap would be in the pack n play or crib. Well I let her cry 5 minutes one time, 10 minutes another, and even 15 minutes one time and it didn't work. Eventually at 5pm I caved and decided it was more important she got some SLEEP as she hadn't gotten more than a couple of minutes here and there since 10:45am so I let her sleep for 2 hours (most of the time with me and some with her Great Aunt Debbie). Then I woke her up at 7pm as I could imagine that could have turned into our one four hour stretch which I didn't want to happen. She was very hard to wake up, but eventually I got her awake and fed her. So I am very open to suggestions as to how to get Nadia to sleep in a crib or pack n play during the day. I need to break her of this habit of sleeping on or beside me. The let her cry theory seems to work at night - at least it has 3 times now. Thanks to those who gave feedback. My mom and Lucia both said they waited until 3-4 months to let a baby cry and Lisa and Jo both said they let their children cry even at a young age. So far letting her cry has worked in the night time and has not worked during the day time. Hopefully tonight will be more like last night and less like two nights ago.

After Paul's mom had her 5th chemo treatment today (only one more to go!), she and her sister stopped by so that Debbie could meet Nadia. Debbie brought her two new outfits (newborn size) and some socks -the good kind! By good kind I mean the kind that stay on (bobby socks). :-) I also have learned what is the "good" kind of bottle for Nadia at least of the ones I own - Evenflo's Comfi bottles are the best for her in terms of milk not running out of her mouth. I bought those 3 years ago in preparation for adoption. One of the outfits Aunt Debbie gave her was a dress that I plan to have her wear to church this Sunday. It's purple, and she looks good in purple so she should look rather adorable again this Sunday! Nadia has 3 aunts and 4 uncles. She hasn't met any of them yet, but she's now met two of her Great Aunts (my Aunt Janet and Paul's Aunt Debbie). She's met 3 of her four grandparents; she has yet to meet Grandpa Harton but will meet him next weekend. She also has already met her only Great Grandparent. She's met 2 of her 8 cousins. She'll meet one more on August 2 - her oldest cousin, Holly who is in her 20's. It will be awhile until she'll meet her cousins on my side of the family.

We got the official termination of the contract today on the house. The realtor said in her almost 20 years of being a realtor she's never had a buyer terminate for such a low level of radon. Well obviously we need to put in a radon mitigation system which costs about $750 or so to do. The house we are hoping to buy has one installed and with that the radon level was less than 2 when we had it tested a couple of weeks ago. Maybe we'll still end up buying that house some day. Who knows. I am not nearly as upset about it as I was yesterday. Sleep really helps to improve one's perspective on life!

I was thinking today a lot about one month ago and the experience of being in labor. It's funny as with the fact we waited 6 years to have Nadia, you think I'd have it figured out that life rarely goes "as planned." I had thought through my "birth plan" in terms of not wanting to be induced, not wanting a c-section (so relieved when the placenta previa was resolved although in the end I would have been better off if it hadn't as then I would have had a planned c-section and avoided 19 hours of labor), not wanting to have an epidural, wanting to nurse her ASAP after birth, etc. Well a couple of things did go as I hoped - Paul was at home when I went into labor. I was concerned he might be at school (45 minutes away) and someone else might need to take me to the hospital. Also, I was hoping my water would break first so that it would be really obvious I was in labor. I wasn't wanting to keep going to the hospital for "false alarms." In hindsight, I had been having REAL contractions for a few days (very sporadic). I thought they were different than the BH, but since I hadn't been in labor before, I couldn't be sure. In fact on that Monday morning when I went to the doctor because of the bleeding, I had a real contraction while driving and immediately pulled over and asked Paul to drive the rest of the way as I realized I was not a safe driver while having contractions!

However almost everything else didn't go as planned or hoped for. I was hoping not to go into labor at night as I don't function well those hours. Even as a child/ teenager I didn't enjoy staying up late. I was always the first to sleep at a slumber party! Since I ended up going into labor prior to midnight, I changed my mind about the epidural as I wanted a few hours of sleep before the pushing began. But then I was told I couldn't have one because of my platlet problem. I still don't get that. I plan to ask the hematologist about it at my next appt. And although I didn't want to be induced - I did end up receiving three doses of pitocin. If I had to do it over again, I would have accepted the pitocin earlier in the day than when I did accept it. The timing of when they gave it to me was awful as the last dose was given very shortly before the pushed her head back inside me and told me to stop pushing. Let me tell you it is very hard to not push when you're fully dilated and having a contraction well it's even harder when you add pitocin into the mix. They were telling me - for your daughter's sake don't push. Again it's not that I wanted to do anything to hurt her but it was like trying to defy gravity to NOT push. Of course I ended up having a c-section. I wish they had told me before they asked me if I wanted "help" that if the vacuum didn't work I'd HAVE to have a c-section. I don't think I would have agreed to the vacuum had I known. I can tell you Paul would never agree to a vacuum attempt again after he watched that 3 times and thought Nadia's life was in danger! I never would have dreamed that both Paul or I would miss hearing her first cry and that I wouldn't see her for over 3 hours after she was born. Paul and his parents saw her a few minutes after birth, but I didn't meet Nadia until 9pm. And I looked AWFUL. Many women have nice looking photos of mom and their baby right after birth (or mom, dad, and baby). Mine look TERRIBLE and are only of me & baby. I haven't posted them on the blog. I am glad they were taken as they do memorialize the first time I laid eyes on Nadia, but wow do I look terrible after 19 hours of labor and then general anesthesia. One positive I have to say though is that I think this was my best experience ever with general anesthesia. I think every other time I have thrown up in the recovery room, but not this time! Amazing! I do remember that one of the first questions I asked when I "came to" was what her apgar scores were, LOL (9/9). I also remember that I got the nurses to laugh as they were arguing between themselves as to whether I was awake or not as they were wheeling me back to my room and one asked which room is she in, and I piped in with "5" and they laughed and determined I must be awake, LOL. As for nursing her within moments of birth, I actually didn't nurse her for the first time until two DAYS later.

The other thing I would do differently if I could go back in time was I would have waited to push when I had a contraction. Once the doctors came into the room (about 5:15pm after having pushed for 1 hour by myself and 3 additional hours with Yvonne and Paul holding my legs), I felt very intimiated. There were about 7 doctors around my bed - some OB/GYNs and some NICU pediatricians. I felt badly making them wait in between contractions (albeit they were at most 5 minutes apart). Why it bothered me so much, I don't know, but I felt the need to push nonstop while they were all there staring at me. So sometimes I pushed even when I wasn't having a contraction. I wish I hadn't done that, but probably the end result would have been the same. Of course whether things went as planned or not doesn't really matter as the bottom line is that Nadia arrived safe and sound! The only decision of mine that negatively impacted her was my agreeing to the vacuum. That also probably lengthened our stay in NICU as the bruising raised her bilirubin levels. However we are both doing fine now and that's what matters most! I thank God for this precious gift of life He has bestowed upon our family. We love her sooo much!!

Well here's to hoping for a decent amount of sleep tonight, a buyer for our home, and Paul's successful completion of his thesis. Tomorrow is the big day in terms of Nadia's doctor appt. I am very curious as to her weight! It's hard for me to see a difference since I see her every day, but those who see her less often say they can tell she's gaining weight which is music to my ears!!