In many situations we don't have control over what happens in our life, but we do have control over how we respond to the circumstances. I have been thinking about that this week. Here are some examples:
1. I had really, really been tense about wondering what my employment status will be for next semester. I am not 100% sure why I got so worked up about it because the "worst" case scenario is that I'll become a SAHM earlier than expected, which really isn't a horrible thing! Anyhow, I have to say that although it's still my first thought when I hear the phone ring, I truly have accepted the fact that I probably won't find out for a couple more weeks. I'm choosing to let go of the need to know right now.
2. When I weighed Ian today, I discovered that he had recently lost 10 ounces. I was surprised, but I didn't let it get to me. Usually I've gotten pretty discouraged when he's lost that much weight, but I just became more determined to try to get more calories into him. My goal is that he will weigh at least 25 lbs at his 2 year appt since they said he weighed 25 lbs at his 18 month appt. I figure they won't be happy if he supposedly lost weight over a period of 6 months.
3. Our last few dates have been cancelled for various reasons. I made several phone calls yesterday and today until I finally made arrangements for us to have a date tomorrow night. Sometimes you have to persevere! We're both looking forward to it as we haven't been on a date for over 3 months.
4. It feels like Ian hasn't made much progress with his eating over the past year, but when the OT left today, the last thing she said was that her goal was that by next Thanksgiving Ian would be eating table food (not pureed). I honestly didn't think that might be possible. It feels like wishful thinking, but it was encouraging to hear her say that, especially as she had told me earlier that he likely wouldn't be eating normally until age five. Here's to praying he'll be eating table food before he turns three. I've given up on my goal of him chewing and swallowing anything before he turns two. It's important to have realistic expectations.
5. I'm grateful we have medical insurance. I've had to make umpteen calls this week to hospitals, doctors offices, insurance companies, etc. because #1 Blue Shield was taking back payment from appointments in 2010 (even though we only had insurance through them at that point), #2 the wrong insurance has been billed in various instances (which meant we received a $3K bill yesterday from Hershey for the endoscopy), #3 they have goofed up with the billing for the ivf (we received bills in the mail totalling over $400 for that today even though we just paid them almost $10K for the package last month), etc. It feels sometimes that dealing with medical bills could be a full-time job! The good news is that we have insurance. It's been a nuisance, but at least (aside from the IVF) the insurance has eventually been paying all the big bills. Actually the ivf statements were encouraging because they showed that they did pay for all of my initial testing (aside from a $15 copay), which means we should be getting a refund when all the ivf stuff is totally done. I haven't even begun to tackle the project of sorting out the prescription drug bills from this summer. I need to do so.
I'm trying to see the glass as half-full in each situation that can be potentially stressful or discouraging. I can't control many of these circumstances, but I can control my attitude and response!
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