Patience, Humility, and Creativity

There are many qualities that parents need to have. The three listed above are ones I have been thinking about lately. When I'm speaking of creativity, I'm not talking about the artsy/craftsy type. I don't have very much of that At All. I'm thinking more of creative solutions. For example, a couple of days ago I gave Ian an empty Kleenex box at the dinner table and told him to put his (licked) pretzels in it. He finds great delight in putting them in the box and then taking them out (repeat again and again). It takes longer for the rest of us to eat dinner (especially Nadia) so it's helpful to come up with activities that occupy Ian but also don't create a big mess.

I typically think of myself as a patient person; I don't lose my cool and yell or something like that. I know I'm impatient in waiting to find out how something is going to turn out (hence my penchant for breaking out the pregnancy tests sooner than some after an IUI or IVF). I'm really struggling to wait for the President's decision regarding my childrearing request. On Thursday it will be 4 weeks since I put in my request. I'll probably be calling my department chair tomorrow. I've checked with him twice thus far (the last was November 7th). I'm trying not to be a pest. I really need to know by Monday because if I'm not working next semester, Monday will be my last day on the pill. Just in case that's the route we end up going, I scheduled my mock transfer and sonohystogram for this Thursday afternoon as it has to be done before I go off the pill. If I will be teaching next semester, I'll stay on the pill until about Christmas. I'm really praying that I'll hear one way or the other by the end of this week whether my leave was approved for next semester or not.

Being a mom has helped me realize I can definitely grow in being more patient. Sometimes it shows in small instances - like Nadia taking longer than I want her to take to pick what book she wants me to read before I tuck her into bed. Sometimes I stop and think, why am I feeling so impatient when she's taking a minute or two longer than I wish she'd take? Other times it shows in bigger issues, like with Ian's sleeping and feeding issues. I've found the times I get the most irritated is when he regresses. He had been taking 50 minute naps. I've been really frustrated because he's back to 20 minute naps (for some unknown reason). Similarly, I was really, really vexed last week when he was throwing up and screaming all the time when I was trying to feed him things like pudding and baby cereal. Part of me wanted to give up and say give this boy a feeding tube. But really that wouldn't solve any of our problems. It would actually make the feeding journey longer and harder, not easier. I was losing my patience and wanted to throw in the towel. That's not an option though. Eating is a necessity. I must persevere no matter how frustrating it is our how long it takes for him to learn to eat. I love him dearly. I will do whatever it takes to teach him to eat and to make sure he gets the nourishment he needs. I will grow as a person through this and hopefully come out of this a more patient person. I'm glad no one told me when he was 9 months old (when he was first referred to the feeding team) that he might not eat normally until he was 5. I don't think I could have handled that information back then. At this point, that seems like a reasonable goal considering how long it's taken just to get him to eat baby cereal.

The past couple of months is when I've realized that humility is also needed. One example would be in regards to submitting an application for Ian to have additional medical coverage. When I was first told he was eligible (in May), I didn't want to apply because it's in some way connected to welfare. Then we received a $4K bill in the mail, and I regretted that I hadn't signed him up for medical assistance. I submitted the application last month and yesterday his card came in the mail. His coverage is effective December 1. Our health insurance will be billed as the primary insurance. If we end up back on PSU's student insurance, it means we can keep going to the local doctors and won't have to go back to driving 5-6 hours per doctor appointment. It's worth swallowing my pride for that reason. He qualified because he has a disability (not because of our finances). I don't like seeing my not yet two-year-old labeled like that, but if it means we won't get stuck with any large medical bills for him in the future, it's worth accepting the label.

Another example would be with Nadia in gymnastics and ballet. She struggles with following directions far more than any of the other kids in her classes. I'm not expecting her to be the best, but it's hard to sit and watch and realize (in both cases) she's the worst in her class. It's not like I excelled in physical skills. I'm not expecting her to be an amazing ballerina or gymnast. I just wish she was able to focus and follow directions better. At times I think, she's only 3 years old, but then that's how old some of the other kids in the classes are (although some are 4 or 5). It's not like she's defiant. She just seems to be in her own world sometimes. As I watched the ballet class yesterday, there were many times that four little girls were doing exactly what their teacher wanted them to do, and one was not (Nadia). I know it means these classes are all the more important because she doesn't struggle to follow directions in a one-on-one setting, and since I plan to homeschool it's in things like ballet and gymnastics she can learn the skill of following directions while in a group setting that others learn in preschool. One last example would be with teaching her the alphabet. I believe Nadia is smart. Her auditory memory amazes me. I think she'd also score "above normal" in terms of comprehension, expressive communication, and thinking skills. When it comes to visual things, she probably would score "below average." It's humbling for me that I am a teacher educator who is finding it a challenge to teach my three year old to identify numerals and letters. I know she'll get it eventually. I keep trying different strategies. I won't give up, but it's definitely something I hoped wouldn't be so hard for her to learn. It will be a thrilling moment once she does! Hopefully she'll pick it up in the near future, or her brother, who is 17.5 months younger than her, might know his letters and numbers before she does. Her skill with puzzles encourages me because that is also something that doesn't come naturally for her, and she recently reached the point where she can do 12 piece jigsaw puzzles independently. Yahoo for progress!!!