Adjustments

Several women who have three children told me that it was harder for them to adjust to having three children than it was to having two (and the ones who said this their kids were all fairly close in age as I'm sure if there is a bigger age gap that makes a big difference). So far I would say it has been easier for me to transition to being a mom of three than it was to transition to being a mom of two. Nadia and Ian both absolutely adore Oliver. They ask to hold him many times a day. Nadia hasn't been allowed to hold him for more than 2 weeks due to her cough.

 

When Ian came home, Nadia was about to turn 18 months old. She was accustomed to being the only child. I figured Nadia wasn't going to be jealous this time around since she already has a brother and is four years old, but I wasn't sure about Ian as he has been in my arms a LOT over the past 2.5 years. A couple of times he expressed sadness that he wanted to sit in my lap while I was nursing Oliver, but 99% of the time both kids have shown love and appreciation for Oliver. It warms my heart!!! Nadia had so many tantrums when I brought Ian home. It's nice to have the transition go more smoothly this time. Also, I am handling the sleep deprivation better this time. There are still moments when I think I can't function unless I get a little more sleep, but overall I've been doing pretty well considering I am getting an average of 4-5 hours of sleep total each night. I wouldn't even get that much but Paul takes care of Oliver when I first go to bed (usually around 9:30pm) until Oliver needs to be nursed again. For example Friday night I was up with Oliver from 12:30-2:30am and then I finally gave up and brought him to bed. He slept on me for awhile and then I was up with him for another hour. I then was able to sleep 90 minutes until Ian got up. When Ian came home I had the worst time figuring out how to take a shower. I haven't had any trouble taking showers this time around. I take them when Oliver is napping in the pack 'n play, and I bring Ian into the bathroom with me. He plays with toys while I shower. I can't leave Nadia and Ian together without supervision.

 

I haven't totally figured out how much time it takes me to get everyone ready and in their car seats. I am getting closer though. It will be easier once Oliver is off the oxygen as it takes me time to switch the regulator from a large to a small oxygen tank. I wish Nadia would learn how to buckle her seatbelt. She unbuckles it herself. I'm glad we only have one obligation in the morning (church) because it's really a challenge. Hopefully I'll have it figured out before gymnastics starts in a few weeks.

 

Yesterday was a very productive and exhausting day for me. I shopped at yard sales for a few hours, mowed the lawn, did a load of dishes, etc. It was only possible because Paul watched the boys for 2 hours in the morning (Nadia came with me) and Paul's parents watched the kids while Paul was at school. He doesn't usually go in on a Saturday, but he was meeting the professor he was a TA for in 2008-09 to work on a letter of recommendation for Paul. Last week Paul asked his advisor for a letter and got the ball rolling for applying for three positions. The first application (Lafayette) is due this Friday. He's also working on Villanova and Lehigh. He has to submit several things including a 3-4 page statement of what new research project he'll undertake once he becomes a professor. If it hadn't been for help from Paul and his parents, I never would have been able to accomplish so much.

 

Today I was hoping to tackle some more projects around the house, but I decided I should try to let Paul work as much as possible. I am trying to remember what the priorities are. It's really important that he finds a job and also completes his dissertation. Three weekends ago he hung a clock in Oliver's room. Last weekend he hung the quilt. There are two things left to hang in Oliver's room - the letters that spell his name (which arrived at our house a month ago), and the framed cross-stitch that Paul's grandmother made (which we received yesterday). I also would love for Paul to work through a small stack of papers each weekend to eliminate the piles on our bedroom floor, but again that's not the priority right now. I probably shouldn't have cancelled the cleaning service. I called them a couple of weeks ago to end that service, and since then I haven't gotten in gear with the chore lists I printed out. I did a little dusting today, but other than that I've just been doing laundry, dishes, and sweeping/mopping the kitchen floor. The inside of the refrigerator and microwave could use a good cleaning as well as the toilets, etc. 

 

I did cook two different main dishes today so we're set for dinners for a few days. My time spent with my three children is far more important than how often I dust. I'm sure over the coming months I'll get better at juggling everything, but right now feeding Oliver consumes a huge portion of my day between nursing him, feeding him by bottle, burping him (which takes FOREVER sometimes), and pumping (three times today). It also doesn't help that I'm not getting much sleep. I was in our bed for exactly one hour last night although I did also get some sleep on the couch. Setting reasonable expectations can be a challenge for me as my tendency is to want everything to be done yesterday. For example, I'm dying to straighten up the basement, which is a complete disaster right now, but I have a very limited amount of time and energy to expend on housework each week.  We did make it to church today, and that's definitely a higher priority for me than cleaning the bathroom.

 

P.S. Sometimes I forget to comment on why I have included a certain picture. Several days ago I took pictures of Oliver wearing a pair of "Babysaurus" pjs. Paul bought those for Nadia, and Ian also wore them. It's one of the very few articles of clothing that all our children have worn (preemie size). The first picture in today's post was taken a few days ago when Ian was wearing one of the NY Giant Superbowl champ t-shirts that I bought for the kids for Paul for Father's Day this year.